grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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