its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
