I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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