i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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