you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
