You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I could fuck to npr.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm both gender and math confused
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
