Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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