She announced her abortion via fbk
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
