Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I understand Curling. That high.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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