Dual....:-)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
