You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
