Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
