Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
