tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The air was thick with penises
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
