It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
