sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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