you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
