How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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