you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
