So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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