Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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