shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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