is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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