You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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