so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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