my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
