I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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