I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
