we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
