I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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