What a fucking waste of an outfit
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
