I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Are we still banned from the library?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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