i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize