I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
