I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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