Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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