grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
