it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
