I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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