If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
