Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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