I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
