i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
