so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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