3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
