oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
