Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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