all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
