we have pet lesbian snakes
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
