dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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