apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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