Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
